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Finding Zach

Finding Zach - Rowan Speedwell Deliciously angsty. This book has such a vicious start. Zach has been kidnapped and held hostage for five years. He's rescued by chance but the things done to him and the shape he's in is incredibly difficult to read about. Any horrible thing you can think have being done to this boy has been done and even things that I didn't think were possible. Completely inhuman treatment. That he survived with his mind intact still baffles me. Zach was sent away on "holiday" to Costa Rica to get him away from his boyhood crush, David or Taff as he calls him. He didn't even make it out of the airport before the kidnapping, then we have the rescue, and the recovery. The story jumps two years after the recovery as we see a more physically healthy Zach who still struggles with the demons of his captivity. He chosen to isolate himself from Taff but seeks out meaningless sexual encounters in nearby bars in order to provide himself with some semblance of control of his life. Taff wants see Zach but Zach doesn't want to see him. They accidently run into each other at one of Zach's hook-up bars and after a few altercations they begin a tentative restart to their friendship. This is a rough ride that is rife with misunderstandingss and miscommunications. So frustrating and heartbreaking to read about how they want to reconnect yet keep missing it by just fractions causing more setbacks and more misunderstandings. There's a sweetness to Zach despite the horrors he's experienced. That shines throughout the story which I really enjoyed because I don't think I could have finished this if he was broken and unfixable. Taff has always been there for Zach and I could really see why he was never really able to move on with his other boyfriends. It's that history that made it believable that he would continue to pine for Zach. Soulmates seems like such a cliched trope but it really seemed to be what Taff and Zach were to each other. Horrible things happen in this book but so do hopeful ones. I was rooting for these two men to reconnect and find new footing. It's a very angsty book but a very rewarding read in the end. Loved it!